Is it Love or Infatuation?

How do we know if we are truly in love with someone, or if we are just infatuated?

It can be very difficult to tell the difference between the two, so it is important that we recognise the signs of infatuation, so we can decide if what we are actually feeling for someone is a healthy emotion coming from or heart, or an unhealthy emotion produced by our mind.

The emotions and feelings we have for someone when we believe we are ‘in love’ with them, are so very similar to the symptoms of infatuation. The butterflies and the excitement we feel in our stomach when we think about the person of our affection, eagerly looking forward to seeing them, constantly replaying past conversations we had with them over and over in your mind, are all emotions and feelings we go through when we are totally head over heels in love. However, these are very similar emotions we experience, if we have an unhealthy infatuation with that person.

So what are the differences that can separate the two? What should we look out for which can help determine what we are honestly going through? There are 3 main signs which can show we have mistaken our infatuation for someone, for love.

1) If we are actually ‘in love’ we should be able to go about our day as normal. The person we are in love with will understandably enter our mind several time a day, filling our heart with joy and warmth as we wonder what they are doing, and the mere thought of that individual will bring a smile to our lips, help to lift our mood, and brighten our day.

However, if we are engaged in a state of infatuation with this person, the vast majority of our day will be filled with concerns pertaining to where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing. We will find it increasingly difficult to concentrate for long periods, and even struggle to fully focus on even the smallest of tasks. We may be agitated and irritable, as we find ourselves constantly checking our phone for a text message or phone call from that person.

2) When in love, we should have no problem having to wait for an appropriate time to check our phone or social media accounts, for any messages from the person of our desires, such as during a break at work, when we have stopped driving, or when we have completed any urgent task which required our full and undivided attention.

When we are infatuated, we will be checking not only your social media accounts, but we will spend a lot of our time scanning through their social media accounts also, in a desperate attempt to try to discover their whereabouts and whom with. We will not only be engaged in this obsessive behaviour during our free time, but this will be our regular pattern from the moment we awake in the morning, and every chance we get throughout our day. We will not be able to stop ourselves from trying to trace their movements, and we will even find ourselves waking up in the middle of the night, just to check if they are or recently have been active on their social media accounts,

3) Being in love means we should fully understand and embrace the fact that both they and we, need to have other relationships also, such as friends, family members and even co-workers. This is a healthy and loving relationship, and we should not feel threatened or insecure by them choosing to spend their time with anyone else other than us, after all, if we can see how much of a great person they are, then so will others.

Yet in Infatuation, the mere thought of us having to share this person with anyone else will have us constantly anxious and fearful. We will be worried that they may withdraw their affection from us, and they may even meet someone else and forget about us altogether.

It is important to remember that being in love with someone should be a to-way process. The other person should be actively showing us that they feel the same way about us as we show them.

The bottom line is, yes, it is great and very healthy to be in love if your love is being reciprocated, but if you are finding yourself making someone else the main focus of your energy, your mindset and your entire day, then maybe you need to redirect your love inwards.

Never forget that the most powerful and beautiful source of love you need can only come from loving yourself.

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