Why Me?
When life deals us a bad hand, or brings something unfavourable our way, one of the first questions we often ask ourselves is ‘Why me?’ This is because we are feeling singled out, and even targeted in some way. We may even begin to wonder if the universe is picking on us, or even serving up some ‘karma’ for something which we may have done in our past. We blame other people, and sometimes we even blame ourselves, as we begin to spiral downwards with thoughts of what we should have, could have, or would have done, to prevent the problematic circumstance occurring initially.
When anything which we perceive to be traumatic, disruptive, or damaging to any area of our life happens, it is natural for us to feel hard done by. But if we are not careful we can find ourselves dwelling in self pity, which will unfortunately result in our adoption of a ‘victim’ mentality. It is in this ‘self-defeating’ mind-frame where we will often complain about our misfortunes, to anyone who will listen. In our victim status we may even choose to exaggerate our mishaps, and turn them into something much bigger than they actually are, in the hope that somebody will extend a compassionate hand of assistance.
Becoming a victim of circumstance, means we are giving away both our control, and our power, to whatever disaster, setback, or affliction, that has materialised. This is a very unhealed mindset, which only serves to create fear, anger, and confusion. which will continue to feed our irrational responses, and hinder our ability to reconnect to our rational mind. Our victim mentality unintentionally shuts out our logical ability to problem solve, because we are busy intentionally engaging with our emotional heart space of hurt, sadness, and vulnerability. In these times of upheaval and distress, what we need to do is flip the script.
When something wonderful happens in our day, when we experience moments that brings joy into our world, or when anything amazing and unexpected materialises in our life, do we ask ourselves ‘Why me?’ When we are blessed with favour and good fortune of optimum health, loving relationships, and mental clarity and peace, do we feel the need to ask ourselves this question?
Whoever we are, and whatever we believe we do or do not deserve, there is one thing which we all have in common. This is the fact that life happens to us all. The universe does not discriminate, punish, or pick on any of us. In our natural world of duality, in the very same way which positive and uplifting events will continue to circle both in and out of our life, we are all destined to encounter the equal opposite also.
If we were to bask only in sunshine, at some point the heat would simply become unbearable. It is only in the absence of the light of life, that our duration in the shadows and darkness is able to bring retrospection, introspection, and understanding. These are the moments where we must take a reflective step back from our anguish, and find gratitude for what we quite often take for granted. It is in these seasons of uncertainty and instability that we must see every problem we will ever face, for what it truly is. This is simply our turn on the wheel of fortune, where we are either at the top, or the bottom.
Whether we are riding high at the top of the evolutionary wheel of life, or beneath the daunting weight, either way, we are offered the opportunity to make positive gains. We are offered the space and time to work on the parts of ourselves which need healing, and make the necessary adjustments in our life, to bring much needed balance and humility.
It is only when we learn to see each another through compassionate and empathetic eyes, with complete understanding of how we are all equal in every way, that we will finally realise why the question we keep asking ourselves is incorrect. In times of trials and tribulations, the question we should be asking ourselves is ‘Why NOT me?’
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